All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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