you turned your livingroom into a bong?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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