Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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