It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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