FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
