69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
