four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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