operation have a gay friend backfired
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
