also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
