Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize