On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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