Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
