like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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