in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
