Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
