OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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