So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
