Umm I'm too high to move.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
