If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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