Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
