Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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