You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
