my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
