Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
