So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
