Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
