I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
