It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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