Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
