i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
