I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I have post one night stand depression
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