I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
