But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
