...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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