I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
