They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
