forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
