vagina is talking i cant
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
