maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
