So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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