i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
