I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
