Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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