Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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