Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
