shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
