Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
