"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
