some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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