If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
whose parrot is this?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
