He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
