Porn is love you can see.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
