So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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