im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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