My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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