Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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