I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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