I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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