This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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