Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
People in love make me want to vomit
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
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