On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
