Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
