You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
