i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
