the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
