is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i now understand why vodka
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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