I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
