Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I need to calm my uterus...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize