Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
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