I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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