we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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