STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
