Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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