Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
