How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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