Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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