I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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