even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
