miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
