How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
