Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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