If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
