bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
my shit smells like andre
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
