Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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