the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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