Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
